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The Death Of Adult Hookup And How To Avoid It

The Death Of Adult Hookup And How To Avoid It

It’s been quite a while since I used Craigslist to find sex, but I’m still saddened by the passing of its personals section.

Illustration by Lia Kantrowitz.

I harbor ‘t used Craigslist personals in years. If I wish to get laid, I, like many queer men, am more likely to jump on a few of the many apps like Scruff, Grindr, or Hornet.

But today they’re gone. Craigslist axed their entire personals section last week in reaction to this Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act passing Congress. The invoice will make sites more liable for the content users post on their platforms. It’s designed to fight sex trafficking, though specialists say it will actually increase the danger for several sex workers.

The personals section have been a significant part of my sex and appreciate life for several years, also I’ve found myself mourning its loss.

Approximately ten years ago, following a pretty rough breakup, I found myself cruising the Craigslist personals. I met with some pretty awesome guys on there. Some were simply fucks, a few became buddies, and one of these, Tony, became my boyfriend.

As soon as I met Tony he was and I was . I responded to an ad he’d placed on Craigslist. He was residing in Torrance, California, at a two bedroom home with his mother, three sisters, along with their four children. Tony had grown up sheltered in his loved ones, removed from the mainstream gay LA..

Following a couple of days of trading pictures and emails, Tony took the bus to my home at Silver Lake. When he came, I was dismissed. He was way sexier in real life. Short and muscular, dark hair and eyes, a huge smile. We sat on the sofa and made out, then spent the day fucking and talking. He free-formed poetry for me and I read him short stories I’d written. We bought a bottle of wine and spent the whole night getting drunk and telling each other everything, only stopping to fuck and make out.

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Tony used Craigslist to break away from his residence life, from his loved ones, from a world where he couldn’t be out, where he couldn’t one who he was. He told me tales of all the men he’d met, including a few in West Hollywood that ‘d taken him to Palm Springs for the weekend.

Those men were really amazing men. They made me feel special. Like it was fine to be gay. There was nothing wrong with me.

He is still one of my very best buddies.

Before Tony and I started dating, I met with all sorts of awesome men on the site.

There was Christian, who dwelt at a large modern home in the Los Feliz hills. He would spend hours sucking on my dick, edging me, while I looked out at the expanse of Los Angeles shimmering in the shadow like a field of endless fireflies. Once I would cum he would massage me and tell me tales of growing up in Belgium, and going to California with his dad after his mother had died. He told me about the movies he worked affairs he’d had with closeted celebrities, and secret Hollywood sex parties.

Christian has been HIV positive.

A couple of years ago Christian got sick. I was able to visit him at the hospital until he died. We told each other stories, and laughed about all the hours we’d spent together in that home of glass floating above the city.

A couple of days ago, I was talking to my very best friend, special effects artist Alex Rondon, roughly Craigslist.

I fucking loved Craigslist, he explained.

While he was open to all of his friends and family, he still found it difficult to meet other gay guys. Feeling lonely, he found himself cruising Craigslist personals.

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We fucked around in his car, parked in a residential neighborhood. I recall fucking him in the rear seat, and there wasn’t any real space, but it felt really wonderful. Like we were breaking up all of the goddamn rules, and we didn’t care. That guy and I hooked up for years. Consistently in one of our automobiles, always on some quiet, suburban street.

He told me about another guy, a makeup artist for horror films, who he found through the personals section. I believed that was the coolest thing , he explained. I had always wanted to become a makeup artist ever since I saw Evil Dead II. This guy, we didn’t even have sex, we just went for walks and talked. He made me feel as though I could actually do this for a living. I ended up going to film school in Vancouver, also got my first real gig on Sharknado.

Another friend, the musician Big Dipper, gave me his ideas about the shutdown.

I kind of came to some new confidence of becoming a sexual person using Craigslist, he explained. There has been a freedom in reading articles and posting advertisements to get what you wanted to encounter. A Craigslist ad is the best place to record just what you’re looking for. I want to walk into your home and find you naked on your sofa with Metallica playing on your stereo.

Big Dipper’s job takes him all over the nation. Craigslist became a way for him to figure out who the regional gay guys were, where the cruise stains were, and also to find all those fantasies he was trying to find.

It kind of became a hot secret to know that someone in my same hotel was looking for loads within their bum, or a company man up the street wanted to jerk off with someone in the bathroom at Jimmy John’s on his lunch break. It made me look at people and the world around me as this sensual playground with tons of fun rendezvous happening about every corner.

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It’s also a place for people who are closeted or about the down low and trying to explore their own sexuality, he added.

One of the advantages for a lot of folks using Craigslist and one of high significance for men who are closeted has been that you didn’t need to enter a bunch of private information or download any apps that might be located on your phone. Craigslist personals were really anonymous. All you needed was an email account.

I hooked up with so many directly or curious men who didn’t feel comfortable out in the world, but wanted that experience behind closed doors.

For the majority of our history for a community gay men have dwelt in the shadows, too fearful to become open, discriminated against, forced to live lives which were lies. At times, those people who live in big cities may overlook that many within our community are still struggling with these items. Craigslist provided a judgement-free zone.

Craigslist personals weren’t just about getting laid. They had been about meeting different men and women who believed and loved and wanted the same things you did.

The personals section provided sections of our community who are still struggling with what it means to be queer a place to go to find who they were, to feel connected to something larger.

Meeting men and getting fucked has always been simple, if it’s through cruising or relationship apps, pubs or sex clubs, but there was something magical about the true anonymity and privacy that came with a hooking up on Craigslist. You got to be whoever you wanted to be. Top or bottom, boy or dad https://mynaughtyaffair.com/, dirty piss hungry slut or rough fisting top. You weren’t restricted by the limits of your real life, you got to live out the fantasy, also, to tell the truth, I’m going to miss that.

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